Hi,
From the title of this blog I'm sure you can guess what this entry is about. I have decided not to do the New York City Marathon in November and thought I would return to my blog to expand on my reason why.
Since I last wrote an entry to this blog I had intended to do the marathon, I had even run (survived) the Worcester half marathon back in April. But to be honest I was really struggling to get in to it. Without meaning to use Jacob (who is now 8 months old and doing very well) or starting a new job as an excuse, I just wasn't feeling the same about doing the marathon. I wasn't overly concerned to start with, thinking that I'd get my backside into gear as I got closer to going. However, that 'buzz' which I had before never came and it was when I was in New York recently that I decided not to do it.
Katie, Jacob and I recently were in New York for our friends' wedding, a fantastic occasion in Central Park. We went over for the week and used it as our holiday for the year. Being able to take Jacob around all those amazing sights was brilliant and we had a great time. Jacob would wake up rather early each morning and I took it upon myself to get up and talk him on early morning walks around Manhattan. It was on those walks that we went past significant places from my previous visit last November. We walked past the hotel I stayed in, where I was when I learnt the marathon was cancelled and a few other points of reference I remembered.
I had thought, and hoped, that walking around New York and seeing all these places again would inspire me to do the marathon and give me that 'buzz' I was struggling to find. That 'buzz' never came and it was then I started thinking about not doing it. At first I didn't say anything to anyone and thought about it a lot as I wanted to make sure it was the correct decision. It was the right decision and I have since spoken to a few people about it and allowed the realisation of it to sink in.
The short answer to why I'm not doing it is 'I don't want to do it'. Having gone through this all before I know the commitment I'd have to make between now and November, and I don't just mean the 4 days away from Katie and Jacob for me to actually travel to New York and run the marathon. I mean all the hours, particularly on weekends, I'd have to spend running and I'm just not willing to sacrifice that time I could be spending with Jacob.
Jacob has had an unbelievable impact on not just mine, but all our lives - and rightly so. Losing Jo was, well words can't describe it, and what we have achieved in her memory through The Joanna Brown Trust has been amazing. From the moment we set the charity up it was the most important thing in my life, it meant everything to me, but Jacob has come along and changed it all - he's amazing. Obviously The JB Trust is still going strong and I'm so proud (and grateful) for everything we've done so far, but it no longer dominates my life. It has it's place and I think my decision not to do the marathon is a reflection of that.
This Sunday, 25th August, will be the 5th anniversary of Jo's accident and we'll spend the day as a family and enjoy our time with Jacob.
Thank you to everyone that has supported me throughout all of this and I hope you have enjoyed reading these entries as much as I have writing them.
So long (for now),
Rich
